I just spent the last 3 months of my life trying to commit to an actual serious relationship with someone.
I met someone who I thought cared about me, and wanted to be with me. Instead they just led me on and ended up pushing me away and hurting me in the end. They decided that they didn’t trust me for whatever reason even though I was completely faithful and open and honest with them. They decided that they just wanted to be “friends.”
We barely touched, and never even kissed for that matter! We were never intimate, yet I was infatuated with the idea of being in a relationship with someone for the first time in a long time. I wanted it so bad, and I was willing to sacrifice whatever I needed to just to be with someone.
I feel like an absolute idiot for wanting a serious relationship. I feel like an idiot for wanting someone. I feel like an idiot for sacrificing my morals and beliefs just to be with someone who in the end didn’t even want to be with me. I feel like an idiot for wasting my time and efforts on someone who just led me on, who just played with me.
I shouldn’t have to change WHO I AM just to be with someone. I shouldn’t have to pretend to be something I’m not. I shouldn’t have to impress or show off. I should just be myself and do the things that I love, and the things that I am proud of.
I should do the things that make me happy. I shouldn’t let people hold me down, or hold me back. I won’t.